GlamMa: The evolution of Grandma

Having a baby is life changing. Regardless of how much you prepare you're in for more than a few surprises. I was warned of fatigue and all the work required to be a good mom. I had no worries because I had a secret weapon, Grandma. This all knowing elder would make baby food from scratch, cure ailments with home remedies, soothe any crying screaming infant and never tire of watching her grandbaby. But this wasn't the case, if 40 is the new twenty then the late fifty something is certainly the new 30. My mother insisted on the title "GlamMa" and just weeks after Buggy's birth she traveled  to Las Vegas.  I wanted a guide to this thing called motherhood but instead I was given a crash course.

Not Like Halle Berry and Not Like Me

As parents we discuss many things with other mothers. Sometimes publicly, to be overheard by anyone within a 10 foot radius of our cell phone conversation. But there are moments when talks are held within the confines of a safe space that shields us from the judgment of others as we speak our verities. Truth is complicated, not easily agreed upon or understood but in it we find strength. In this piece mom Padua Nevins speaks her truth and this I doubt you will overhear in any cell phone conversation. Here's her story:

Not Like Halle Berry and Not Like Me

by Padua Nevins

Padua's daughter sleeping under mommy's hand at 3 months old

We parents fantasize about having Mixed Heritage children who look like exotic mixtures of both parents: The Euro-Asian child with cream-colored skin, straight, thick, black hair and large almondo eyes; the Afri-Caucasian child with Caramel complexion, green eyes and flowing, loose curly hair to the middle of their back; the Euro-Indian child with a light bronze complexion, hazel eyes and reddish-brown, wavy hair. And others fantasize for us—If I had three more sets of hands, I still would not have enough fingers to count the number of times while I was pregnant that other people gushed, “Oh, your baby’s gonna have the prettiest hair; Mixed kids are so gorgeous; your baby is going to be so beautiful like (insert name of famous person here.)”

But what happens in the minds and sometimes hearts of parents when their children don’t look so obviously and exotically like the combination of their racial heritages?

Teeter Totter: Balancing kids and career

Katie and her daughter Heaven

Some say it’s a sacrifice, others say it’s a choice. Regardless of perspective, choosing to be a stay at home mom or to work is a huge decision. I stayed home a year after having Buggy. I had a modest savings and not much debt except student loans. Although I loved spending time with Buggy I needed to work. The high cost of city living and a desire to use my oh so expensive ivy league degree drove me back into the workforce. I am ok with my decision but I do struggle to find balance. So I reached out to my friend Katie, she is a mother to a 3 year old, a wife and realtor at a prominent NYC realty firm. Here is her take on things: 

Less is More: Baby Items I can do without

So I’ve taken an informal poll, asking parents what baby items they found unnecessary. So here are the results, majority wins, well usually but not in this case. Just decided to go with my opinion. Here is a list of items I can do without. Tell me what you think. 

Get your ducks in Row: Useful items for baby

My Little Buggy

As a first time mom I looked for traps and they were everywhere, from little trinkets to big purchases.  I was determined to not crowd my "cozy" NYC apartment. My realtor took creative liberty with that description. I'm almost certain that somewhere in suburbia my apartment is actually someone's walk in closet.  So with limited space and a refusal to become a hoarder of all things baby I was deliberate with my purchases. Here are a few things I’ve found to be especially helpful.

a special delivery

Niasia and son Zaire

There are many things that bond us as mothers and one is labor and delivery. Niasia and I are both first time moms to little boys born just a month apart. She is a terrific mother and here is her delivery story.

What’s in a name?

My son Zachary was originally called Love Bug until I discovered there is an actual insect of the same name.  I couldn’t disassociate that gross image from what I believed was the perfect nickname, thus began the evolution of Love Bug.  I used the shortened version Bug for a while, I liked it but didn’t love it.  And on one random day, through the background noise of sizzling bacon, clamoring utensils and “Elmo’s World” I heard my sister call from the kitchen "Buggy" and he answered as if it were his name all along.  

What is your child’s nickname and how did it come about?

Let her eat cake

Photo Credit: Mark Brooke

As of his first birthday he said four words, clearly audible mama, dada, and eat. The fourth not so much a word, as it was a side-to-side head motion prompted by the word no, so I did what any good parent would do, and interpreted that as him saying no. Still two words less than the ten-month-old girl who along with her parents sat beside me.