Not Like Halle Berry and Not Like Me

As parents we discuss many things with other mothers. Sometimes publicly, to be overheard by anyone within a 10 foot radius of our cell phone conversation. But there are moments when talks are held within the confines of a safe space that shields us from the judgment of others as we speak our verities. Truth is complicated, not easily agreed upon or understood but in it we find strength. In this piece mom Padua Nevins speaks her truth and this I doubt you will overhear in any cell phone conversation. Here's her story:

Not Like Halle Berry and Not Like Me

by Padua Nevins

Padua's daughter sleeping under mommy's hand at 3 months old

We parents fantasize about having Mixed Heritage children who look like exotic mixtures of both parents: The Euro-Asian child with cream-colored skin, straight, thick, black hair and large almondo eyes; the Afri-Caucasian child with Caramel complexion, green eyes and flowing, loose curly hair to the middle of their back; the Euro-Indian child with a light bronze complexion, hazel eyes and reddish-brown, wavy hair. And others fantasize for us—If I had three more sets of hands, I still would not have enough fingers to count the number of times while I was pregnant that other people gushed, “Oh, your baby’s gonna have the prettiest hair; Mixed kids are so gorgeous; your baby is going to be so beautiful like (insert name of famous person here.)”

But what happens in the minds and sometimes hearts of parents when their children don’t look so obviously and exotically like the combination of their racial heritages?

Teeter Totter: Balancing kids and career

Katie and her daughter Heaven

Some say it’s a sacrifice, others say it’s a choice. Regardless of perspective, choosing to be a stay at home mom or to work is a huge decision. I stayed home a year after having Buggy. I had a modest savings and not much debt except student loans. Although I loved spending time with Buggy I needed to work. The high cost of city living and a desire to use my oh so expensive ivy league degree drove me back into the workforce. I am ok with my decision but I do struggle to find balance. So I reached out to my friend Katie, she is a mother to a 3 year old, a wife and realtor at a prominent NYC realty firm. Here is her take on things: 

a special delivery

Niasia and son Zaire

There are many things that bond us as mothers and one is labor and delivery. Niasia and I are both first time moms to little boys born just a month apart. She is a terrific mother and here is her delivery story.