Not Like Halle Berry and Not Like Me

As parents we discuss many things with other mothers. Sometimes publicly, to be overheard by anyone within a 10 foot radius of our cell phone conversation. But there are moments when talks are held within the confines of a safe space that shields us from the judgment of others as we speak our verities. Truth is complicated, not easily agreed upon or understood but in it we find strength. In this piece mom Padua Nevins speaks her truth and this I doubt you will overhear in any cell phone conversation. Here's her story:

Not Like Halle Berry and Not Like Me

by Padua Nevins

Padua's daughter sleeping under mommy's hand at 3 months old

We parents fantasize about having Mixed Heritage children who look like exotic mixtures of both parents: The Euro-Asian child with cream-colored skin, straight, thick, black hair and large almondo eyes; the Afri-Caucasian child with Caramel complexion, green eyes and flowing, loose curly hair to the middle of their back; the Euro-Indian child with a light bronze complexion, hazel eyes and reddish-brown, wavy hair. And others fantasize for us—If I had three more sets of hands, I still would not have enough fingers to count the number of times while I was pregnant that other people gushed, “Oh, your baby’s gonna have the prettiest hair; Mixed kids are so gorgeous; your baby is going to be so beautiful like (insert name of famous person here.)”

But what happens in the minds and sometimes hearts of parents when their children don’t look so obviously and exotically like the combination of their racial heritages?

What’s in a name?

My son Zachary was originally called Love Bug until I discovered there is an actual insect of the same name.  I couldn’t disassociate that gross image from what I believed was the perfect nickname, thus began the evolution of Love Bug.  I used the shortened version Bug for a while, I liked it but didn’t love it.  And on one random day, through the background noise of sizzling bacon, clamoring utensils and “Elmo’s World” I heard my sister call from the kitchen "Buggy" and he answered as if it were his name all along.  

What is your child’s nickname and how did it come about?